Thursday, November 11, 2004

It's about Friggin' Time!

Yasser Arafat is dead. I called him dead last week here. He's been dead for a week. Don't let anyone tell you different. You can keep a headless man on life support but that doesn't mean he's alive. I find it funny how they made sure to keep him on life support for a week. The theories as to why they would do this are:

According to Islamic law, he needs to be sent to within a rather short period of time after his death. No one would take him. They didn't want to put him in Palestine and Israel told them to pack sand so they finally had to settle on the Gaza Strip. I was willing to suggest that he take Jim Morison's plot in France and we can take Jim back stateside. That way Americans would have no reason to go to France unless it was to spit on something, like Arafat's grave.

Everyone was trying to figure out where he stashed all of his money. It is understood that Mr. Tablecloth-for-a-hat was worth around 2 Billion or so. His wife, who hasn't seen him in ages, has been living off her inheritance in France and would like to cash in her chips as the heir to everything. I'm sure the rest of the PLO would like a share of it as well. My guess is that one of the major topics of discussion was how to funnel everything out of his Swiss bank account before they pulled the plug. This is only my speculation though and all of the money he was holding for the Palestinian people will be distributed back into their government structure....right? Let me say this again...around 2 Billion, with a "B".

The question on everyone's mind is who will be taking over and what will happen to the PLO? They've been running around like chickens with their heads cut off hoping beyond hope that Are-ya-fat will have a lucid moment, wake up and name them the next dictator. Well, this didn't happen and all of the lemmings had to make up their own minds for a change. The most obvious choice was made. Mahmud Abbas, the leader of the Fatah organization that has challenged Arafat for the throne was unilaterally chosen to head the PLO. The Fatah organization has gone to Farouk Khadoumi the long time foreign minister that was an outspoken critic of the Oslo peace accord. He was thought to be the eventual successor to Arafat by some. Many people consider this a great decision. Unless he's assassinated, like often happens in the west bank, Abbas will more than likely be a strong supporter of peace negotiations in the near future.

I really should not be happy about anyone's death but I am happy about what Arafat's death may bring. Abbas has done great things in the past and would have probably done more if he wasn't stifled by Yessir. He was one of the major aides in Oslo and publicly calls for an end to the Palestinian resistance movement with frequency. This is not a guarantee of peace on the West Bank but it is definitely looking good. It's about Friggin' time!

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