I am sooo NOT gonna' win.

Being the former intel kinda guy that I am I did a little bit of research on my compeditors for bes essayist. I am sooo not gonna win this thing. I would say that about half of these people have books out. Some of them are regular novelists or journalists. Have I said I'm not going to win yet? Let me say it again. I...am...not...going...to...win. So lets get into the why and the wherefore of how I'm going to lose miserably. Let's look at my excruciatingly stiff competition (I'm just going to run quick stats on everyone. It should be fairly obvious from that.):

1. Victor Davis Hanson
TTLB Links: 411
Sitemeter Hits: 3658
Accolades: Author of multiple books (12), published in several newspapers, publicly recognized for his works.

2. Lileks: The Bleat
TTLB Links: 1250
Sitemeter Hits: N/A
Accolades: Author of multible books, started in spring 1996

3. Eject!Eject!Eject!
TTLB Links: N/A
Sitemeter Hits: 1781
Accolades: Currently publishing first book (3 more in the works), Pilot, talk show personality.

4. Dooce
TTLB Links: 487
Sitemeter Hits: N/A
Accolades: Web Designer (No wonder the site looks great.), Stay at home mom (Free time!), Degree in English, EST: Feb 2001

5. Roger L. Simon
TTLB Links: 732
Sitemeter Hits: 8896
Accolades: Author, Screenwriter, famous, juror at a film festival...in Syberia.

6. USS Clueless
TTLB Links: 974
Sitemeter Hits: N/A
Accolades: Trekkie (never underestimate the power of trekkie geeks.), Established 20010131, First line was: "on screen". NOTE: This is the first regular person on the list. (Have I said I'm not going to win yet?)

7. Dynamist.com
TTLB Links: 570
Sitemeter Hits: N/A
Accolades: Author, Speechwriter, Columnist, Public Speaker, Established 1998

8. Electric Venom
TTLB Links: 487
Sitemeter Hits: 500
Accolades: Established March 2003. NOTE: This is the second regular person on the list.

9. American Digest
TTLB Links: 365
Sitemeter Hits: (Uses Statcounter. Total hits: 1,769,985)
Accolades: Established June 2003. NOTE: Third regular person in nine blogs.

10. Wolfgang Von Skeptik
TTLB Links: N/A
Sitemeter Hits: 1632
Accolades: Journalist

11. Andrew Olmsted
TTLB Links: 109
Sitemeter Hits: 258
Accolades: Army Major, Established Jan 2003

12. Eternity Road
TTLB Links: 71
Sitemeter: 221
Accolades: Long Time blogger (Original date of first blog is not known.). NOTE: Fourth regular person out of twelve.

13. Easily Distracted
TTLB Links: 141
Sitemeter: N/A
Accolades: College Level Social Sciences Professor at Swarthmore

14. Bastard Sword
TTLB Links: 259
Sitemeter: 341
Accolades: Established January 2004, Does his own physics experiments and makes his own weapons. (How cool is that?) NOTE: Fifth regular person of fourteen.

Okay, so I'm up against journalists, authors, screenwriters, trekkies and a college professor. The only person on this list that is even remotely as new to blogging as me might be Wolfgang Von Skeptik but he's a real live journalist. Some of these people may be lower on the TTLB but NONE of them have fewer hits. This means a greater readership. Normally, greater readership means more votes. It's a popularity thing usually. The more popular guy wins. Lets look at my stats now:

15. American Warmonger
TTLB Links: 432
SitemeterHits: 134
Accolades: One article published here. I've got my own 527. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And gosh darn it, people like me. NOTE: I'm the sixth normal person out of fifteen.

Some would look at this list of literati roughnecks and fall into a pit of dispair. I'm not going to do that. Do I think I'm going to win it? Do I have a chance? Come on, get serious. Some of these...most of these people get paid to write. I get paid to update antivirus definitions and keep the Navy and Marine Corps safe from hackers. I feel out of place just being here. I feel really honored just to be here.

So then what is this?

This is a testament to my competitors. All of which are great in their own rights. Many of which are good enough in the craft of writing that people will pay them for their work. That alone is an impressive feat. If people are impressed with my writings you should check out the others. They are the real professionals. Maybe someday I'll have my own column somewhere or write a book or something but until then I'm happy with where I am at and the little noteriety that I do get.

Now go vote!

UPDATE: First things first; It's Olmstead and has been corrected. Please accept my humble apologies, sir. I'll make sure you're considered a "normal person" as well, sir. (Renders silly looking, Benny Hill like salute.)