Monday, April 11, 2005

101 Ways Fonda Can Redeem Herself

This post has been bumped to aquire more fondness for Fonda.

"Hanoi" Jane Fonda claims she has found God and now realizes the error of her ways when she was young. She says she really loves the military and always has. It was just some childhood stuff that she took further than she ever intended. Really, we should accept her apology and feel sorry for her because of the tragic threesome she was forced to endu...

*thump*

*ca-chung-chug-bump*

*THUD!*

Sorry about that. I got dizzy and fell down from rolling my eyes too much.

I'm sure it's blatantly obvious that she could care less about the troops and she's only looking to make a quick buck off of her book. She's not even remotely sorry for what she did. If she were really sorry for what she did she could have really done something to show it. In fact, I have compiled a partial list of things that would redeem her in the eyes of many Americans.

101 Ways Fonda Can Redeem Herself

1. Have her ashes shot from a cannon, like Gonzo...only while still alive.
2. Take all of the proceeds from her book sales and donate them to Vietnam veteran (The American ones) based charities.
3. Give all willing Vietnam vets a chance at their own threesome. Heck, maybe they could just run a train on her.
4. Force her to marry her long lost lover, John F. Kerry, for life. Her only reprieve would be if she could get him to sign his DD-180.
5. Burn herself in Tienanmen Square.
6. She could uncover and capture Osama Bin Laden
7. Send a hand written letter to every Vietnam veteran, living or dead, apologizing for her behavior. Each page would need to be at least one page in length or contain one genuine tear of her sorrow.
8. Re-marry Ted Turner. - by: Tran Sient
9. She should have to spend time in a locked room with the mothers, daughters, wives, and sisters of those tortured and killed because of her big mouth, tiny brain, and nonexistent heart. - By: Patty-Jo
10. Check herself into the Hanoi Hilton until each and every living Vietnam Vet provides her with a personal letter of forgiveness. - By: Ogre
11. How about watching Barbarella continuoulsy for the exact same time that all Americans were held POW from 64 to the last returning POW? - By: GMRoper
12. How about funding college for the grandkids of those who died in the Hanoi Hilton. - By: GMRoper
13. How about giving everything she owns away and living as a cloistered nun in comtiplative prayer for the next 150 years? - By: GMRoper
14. Liquidate all of her assets and divide the money among the families of all those who lost their life in Vietnam and then die bitch die! - By: David Holtz
15. Well, we could put her on a deserted island with the sexual predator-in- chief Slick Willie and see how long she can resist his persistent charms. - By: Billy Budd
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As you can see I didn't go the full 101. I'm looking for the good citizens of the blogosphere to help me out on this. So send me your tired, your poor, your huddled crasses. I am now accepting all input from anyone. If it goes over 101 then so be it. I managed to grab seven off the cuff and I wasn't even born during Vietnam. I'm sure some of you out there have much better zingers and much better experience. (any and all responses will gain a link to your blog as well.)

9 comments:

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SNAKE HUNTERS said...

Give Jane Fonda 30 Minutes on CNN or FOX to explain her "Fonda-Ness" for 'United For Peace & Justice' Rallies in Washington D.C.

reb/editor
__________________________________
www.lazyonebenn.blogspot.com

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