Wednesday, December 08, 2004

My readers are blind!

Okay, I know starting at a monitor for hours at a time, reading my eternal rantings can be both time consuming and eye melting. It appears that this may have affected most of your eyesight. The reason I bring this up is that it appears that a large constituency of my readership uses 800x600 screen resolution. I've been doing my absolute best to make this site pretty and frilly for everybody.

Recently, I added the donkey to the other side of my blog title and the text portion was sent to neverland. (The one with the magic captain hook, not the one with the pedophile you sickos.) If you are willing to take a dramatic techie step you can follow along with me to fix your resolution problems. The following is a quick tutorial that will allow you to change your screen resolution so that my sight doesn't do weird things when I try to make it purdy':

Changing your screen resolution:
(Windows users only. Other instructions available upon request)
(If this is really simplistic and sounds condesending I apologize. Some people might not know.)

1. Go to your desktop and rightclick.

2. Select "Properties". (It should be on or near the bottom.

3. An applet should now pop up called: Display Properties.

4. On the top tabs of Display Properties all the way to the right should say: Settings.

5. Click on the Settings tab.

6. Now, on the right, near the bottom, there should be a box that says: Screen area and a little blocky arrow pointing to your screen resolution.

7. If it says 800 by 600 pixels you are blind and need to go get better glasses. Wait..no...that's not right. You can move that arrow to the right to change your screen resolution to make what you see smaller. Again, remember if you have trouble seeing at other resolutions read the blind part of this step. Other resolutions include: 1024x768 and 1152x864.

Warning: Be careful with these settings. If you have an old computer some of the higher resolutions might not work properly.

8. Click "Apply" located at the bottom right of the screen.

9. Click "okay" for the box that just popped up.

10. Now that your screen blacked out and spooked you the screen should come back on and ask you if these settings are okay. Click yes if they are. Do it quick because you only get 15 seconds to choose. (Side note: older windows will not give you some of these options and may require you to reboot your machine.)

11. Congratulations! You have changed your screen resolution or completedly destroyed your computer. If everything works right I'm sure a democrate will claim responsibility. If it just fried your computer be sure to blame Bush.


Additional note: Everything should now look purdy for those that are afraid to play with their screen resolution or are blind.

One more additional note: I moved a bunch of stuff to the bottom of the code so everything loads quicker. The only thing I've left that's a load hog is the chatterbox. I'll be asking again on Friday if I should kill it or not. Can you handle the load delay?

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